Life begins with a sense of longing for itself.
This longing is sought out wherever it enters out of time, transfixed gaze of the wild eye, movement of the slithering snake, lizard, or that energy that electrifies you from some beings.
There is no location where you can grasp at as lightning itself……it is a spark that enters you and you are stunned, you want to hold on…. but can not and have no word, even an utterance on it’s behalf…it is the longing for all the mysteries of being, being in and out of it simultaneously…grasping at what you can not for you are itself…and words fall between your clumsy fingers like ash.
We go astray when we are overwhelmed in that solitude for which we long for and may be the ”why” some who feel that longing the most, are sensitive the most, are reaching out in substances to feel momentarily some spark of that that they long for and so as grasping at thin air that demon of addiction gets the grasp of such fragile souls…a few, by some miracle are saved and find alternatives to their search.
In my personal life, as long back as i remember this feeling was strong…it was desperate to be dead to that connection and so utterly, shockingly exhilarated by such moments that the not knowing or understanding, or simply need of holding on to it would be shattering…As futile as grasping to hold this thin air of breath itself.
Here, mostly alone, there is the luxury of the wealth of silent nature’s offerings…(Suddenly the Golden Oriole began to sing his sweet golden song)…
Then there is the miracle of internet through which connections to vast variety of people talking, expressing themselves is available.
It is clearly noticeable, possibly even more clearly so as a distant observer, to watch those who’s entire manner is synchronised with their depth’s of being or in contrast to others so consumed by construed culture that you only see a tragic marionette.
These thoughts have circled my mind as to why some people get through me.
We are primitive to what we can understand of ourselves as we have no vision of our evolutionary growth as in a movie, running on the screen of our minds.
If only we did, then, may be we might get glimpses of our impulses, searches, longings and despairs.
Then may be we might understand that we all grew out of those elementary sediments of ancient oceans, grew together, taking various paths to wings of flight, fins to oceans or feet to stand this earth.
Gravity holds us tight to stand this unquenched thirst for longing to connect, once again to the origins of creation…an oxymoron.. our longings lead to creation of life in the ecstasy of sexuality.
If it were not for the climax there would be only frustration but then when the climax is devoid of that connection is the bloody smashing of bodies falling from great heights to brutal rocks which all addictions even in this act leave humans desperate and separate from life.
Is this why with all sophistication of our minds we have sexuality, blatant or subliminal entering every advertisement barging into our lives? Is this the force of life longing for itself whilst being itself?
The hills are pink with these fragile flowers just sprouting out, daringly, without a care for just a while to dry up and return to the ground upon which they grew.
Is this the ecstasy of being?
Pondering in May
/in News /by shahlaLife begins with a sense of longing for itself.
Timeless Land
/in News /by shahlaThe moment that is new is when eyes open, breathless,
View formations, changes upon clouds, having shed their weight over thirsty land
Now, catching last lights of the sinking sun, slowly, slowly moving on………..
Breathless you stand gazing upon the timeless land.
Silence is broken
/in News /by shahlaSilence of the Night
/in News /by shahlaIt’s a silky silent night to disturb and write…
But the hooting of the owl, trilling of one lone cricket nothing moves but the mind.
Almost a benediction holds the stars touching the earth, night dew gathers softly around what vegetation remains of rains of the past…
Oh the mind, the mind wants to be, to be, feels throbbing of the body, wanting to disturb rudely this nothingness…..
not in fear but persistent feel, feeling the being here, now in this silence a witness who wants to say, I bear witness, only this I, the observer of nothingness that holds finite infinity that knows no time or measure….
All at once is here, right now, here, here…listen….
The owl does not tire, nor the cricket…holding this holy silence of the night!
What are we?
/in News /by shahlaTo be awake to our passing thoughts, passing moods, rising and falling emotions needs enormous interest with passion to look deep beyond the layers to discover this entity I call the I!
To be called upon, out of the blue, incident of years gone by, joyous or painful, hits us deeply!
It seems all the “felts” of the past are captured on recorded slices waiting silently to be awakened by a thought.
It seems that all “time” past through present is there at once!
Yet we look at our hands, feet, face and wonder who is this I?
This I is drawn to revel, repeat and relive that that gave it substance and ecstasy, yet shudder when the pains of past hurts open up and bleed the heart.
Who is this I if it were not for the “Felts”?
What is that feeling when the moon begins to rise, the sun slipping behind the hills leaving a rapture of colours painting the clouds, the waving branches, bathing of birds, playing of children, old man, woman taking shaky steps…….Is love a feeling?
The Creative Egg
/in News /by shahlaWhat if our youngsters had a chance to stay a while in a unique space where they may learn deeply their own conditioning, question, question all whilst they co-operate in working on various projects to improve human problems?
Click for project details:
The Creative Egg
Blowing in the Wind
/in News /by shahlaWe wonder, investigate with immense energy superficial banalities and take for granted the magic, mysteries of life on this earth!
We satisfy ourselves with requisites of dramas of our lives but not the director of our dramas.
We praise intellectual activities yet ignore the inner core of our being!
Living the Story
/in News /by shahlawatching feelings filling you up, leaving you, rising up, fierce or gentle, heart beat faster, head throbbing, passions flaming up and being lost in that flow…drowning, helpless…floating,
Begs to question why?
What are we and which stories were so fixed in our being that has such hold over our existence?
You are on my mind
/in News /by shahlaQuestioning our actions.
Questioning our convictions.
Questioning ever deeper reasons we give to why and what we do.
Allowing a pause on our rout to look around, all directions, above all from above, to see a light entering the emptiness of our “Not knowing”
Allowing the rivers of tears to wash away solidified fixations.
Holding gently this inner child kicking hard, holding tight to his made belief Rock.
To rock this child in love and whisper, all is well, that love is boundless and this pain too will pass as all is in passing over the rainbows of further universes…
Stop now!
Stop and do this now, now, and now…
It is this moment of our actions, words and deeds that leaves a stamp deep behind on this earth, no less lives we have touched upon.
Look back to see abundance of laughter, blooming fields and glowing light in love following you to your destiny.
This life we were born to is passing too..faster and faster is catching us up in trails we left behind…
Let wisdom of love cleanse all pains we caused in the past, let generosity wash away hardened hearts unto joy….
Let your bidding farewell to this body feel the power of light which gave you this chance to live in full purpose of birth..
As the flower that opens wide in full innocence is there for a while to spread beauty for those who passed it by, lived just for a while!
El Torcal
/in News /by shahlaWe drove up higher and higher following the river… river disappeared between thick of pink Oleander bushes, appeared and was gone again from sight…Landscape changing to open spaces and fields of wheat, soft and dreamy beyond which high rocky mountains appeared as we kept on driving upwards towards those Rocks.
The heat subsided, cool breeze began to blow. We stopped beneath the Rocks at The fountain and filled up our bottles with fresh cool water flowing from it’s depths.
A couple more kilometres..
We entered “EL Torcal” and climbed ever higher between those crazy shapes formed over billions of years, forming, reforming through times beyond our human scale.
We unpack our picnic, laugh and chatter as the sun sinks and moon rises……
We have climbed a couple of hundred meters higher and feel the cold.
We freeze and shiver at 15 degrees less.
We are fragile creatures with immense powers of the “Will”!
It grows dark.
The astronomer sets up telescopes.
We sit around, are mesmerised as we listen.
He points to stars with his laser pointer…Recites their given names from ancient times of men to new, also their constellation tales we humans have conjured.
We queue to watch saturn, our potted moon, and distant stars which may no longer be as it’s light years taken for us to view…. beyond our comprehension.
We Wow and clasp at moments of AWE!
We have now seen where humans landed on the moon, and rings of Saturn, twinkle of dead stars born and died well before even our earth, this rock on which we picnic ever existed …
We are feeling cold and tired. We pack up and drive back to our warm rooms, slumber to sleep and dream of plans of grandeur for days to come!!